Crash and Burn
by Aiko Kitty Skywalker
Summary: After the Rebellion has destroyed the Empire, Leia locks herself within her quarters for days on end to rethink her life. After everything that has been said and done, she feels betrayed by the man she called Father and her mother. But what happens when A


Crash and Burn

By Aiko "Kitty" Skywalker

"Leia?" came a soft voice from the doorway. "Leia?"

"Leave me alone Luke."

"Leia you've been in there for two days. Please Leia come out."

"Leave me alone Luke."

Leia shut her eyes tightly as she leaned her head against her pillows. It seemed to strange now. The rebellion had succeeded in destroying the Empire, her friends were all all right, she was in love, and for the first time in her life she had real family alongside of her.

Yet still she contemplated.

Her whole life she'd grown up somewhere believing something. Her whole life she spent her time believing Bail Organa was her father, that she was princess of Alderran, that she was an only child, that no one was hiding things from her. She felt cheated, she felt betrayed.

Yet still she mourned.

For the first time in years she had been able to sit down and look at what had happened. Alderran was gone, her friends were gone, her past, they were all done. Bail Organa, the man she had called father, was gone. Why? Why had he been destroyed?

If he hadn't been destroyed, if Alderran hadn't been destroyed, maybe she would know the truth, maybe she hadn't searched inside herself if she had been told to see if it were true. Maybe just maybe it would all be different…

The overbearing urges, the overbearing images, they ripped her thoughts from one thing to another. At times she would sit there and mourn over everything she had lost, the next she would be angry, angry that they had lied to her.

Why had they lied to her?

Her mind rocked back and forth, across the waves of the galaxy, across the greatest distances of her memory, of her intelligence, testing her logic, trusting the force, just to come up with answers. Why Alderran? Why had they lied? Why had they taken her from her brother? Why hadn't she known him? Why hadn't she been given an opportunity to know her father? Why had he turned to the Dark Side and abandoned her and her brother? Why had her mother married Bail Organa? Why had her mother died?

She traced it all back to her mother. Her mother was such a beautiful woman, Padmé was her name, with long flowing golden brown hair. Her smile was heart warming, her laugh was the most gorgeous, the most luscious sound, yet it was rarely heard. Her mother's eyes were so calming, so captivating, so beautiful, yet they were always sad. Her face was so perfect, the symmetry, the imagery, yet it always showed signs of depression. She could remember her mother looking at her, showing her in her eyes, her face, her features, her movements, her voice, her words, that she loved her. Yet although her mother was married to Bail, she never showed her love for him. Leia doubted that her mother loved him.

Her mother was always honest with her about everything, why did she lie to her about this? Something so significant to her future, so significant to her life that it would change every course of it for a time, why had she lied?

Next she found herself wondering, if she couldn't believe her mother, if her mother had lied to her, who else had lied? Who else could she trust? Could she trust Han, could she trust Luke? Could she trust Lando or Chewbacca, C3P0 or R2D2? Who could she trust? 

It didn't make any sense to her, as the drizzling and captivating ideal of sleep washed over her and captured her, sending her into waves of sleep.

*

Leia found herself surrounded by darkness. The darkness seemed to frightening, so cold to the touch, that it frightened her, it made her shiver with the incoming work around her.

She tried impossibly to reach out for something, to feel something comfort her. For the first time she felt the stab of the knives of the void of emptiness; of lifelessness of painstaking solitude.

Somehow though she couldn't be upset. She knew that the feelings of loneliness that washed over her would have made her cry at any other time.

But not now. Somehow she had a feeling that she couldn't quite explain that kept her from doing that.

And soon she realized that feeling wasn't just a feeling inside her. Soon she became conscious of a hand that rested upon her shoulder, a feeling of light energy that washed over and within her.

She wasn't in a lifeless void, but yet somehow she was. Looking at the hand, she saw that, through the darkness, this hand was placed firmly on her shoulder, it looked to be owned by a man that could be the age of her father.

And that was when the owner spoke.

"Leia, my dear sweet Leia, I am happy you have found your way here."

Turning, Leia looked into the eyes of the speaker. They were crystal blue with a tint of innocence and hope twixt the captivating blue waves of crystal. A light cascade of sandy blonde hair twixt a background of white hair cascaded around the top of his head, a slight bald spot was appearing at the top of his head. He appeared to be aged beyond his years, possibly only being in his mid to late forties. Definitely the age her father could be.

"Who are you and how do you know my name?" she asked although somewhere deep inside she knew who she was.

"Dear Leia don't you know who I am?"

"I have this feeling like I should, or possible even do, but I can't quite place it."

"Look deeper Leia." After moments of Leia's deliberation she couldn't quite place it still. Sighing he released her shoulder and took her chin in his right hand and placed his left on her shoulder. "I'm your…"

"Father." She finished for him. Looking up into his eyes, she could see a twinkle that had not been previously there. Although she knew it was only an illusion she could almost see his eyes nod to her in response. "Anakin Skyalker."

"Yes," he answered, a smile placing itself upon his face, "and I am glad to finally meet you sweet daughter."

"Finally meet me? You tried to kill me! You tortured me, mentally and physically, and you stole the man I love away from me and froze him in carbonite! Finally meet me? Whatever."

"Leia please, that wasn't me."

"Oh yes I believe you, it was a spirit within your body."

"Yes," he began watching her expression falter into a look as if to say "oh sure and pigs can fly", "and no."

"Yes and no?"

"Yes and no. You see I was always there within my body, crippled and mutated as it was, but I had given up. I was dormant and shallow, allowing my other self, the evil spirit you could call it, Darth Vader, to rein over me and within me. But I was always there."

"Why couldn't you defeat him if you were still there?" she spat out.

"Because as I said I was dormant. I felt betrayed by my former master and my best friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, so we fought on a lava planet, which I can honestly say, is where Vader took over and I stepped aside. We fought and I lost, being tossed into the lava. Half of my body was destroyed; I was dying, rotting in the lava pits when Palpatine saved me. He gave me robotic parts to replace what had once been there and a breathing apparatus I had to use. With that suit, with the machinery that was what I had become, it wasn't me. Please Leia believe me…"

"Believe you? Why would I? You've done nothing for me, nothing!" Leia swiftly turned he back on him, freeing herself from his grasp. Had she known where she was going or seen ahead of her she would have walked away, but into the darkness she was afraid to wonder.

Anakin slowly swallowed all that was left of his pride. Unable to let his daughter go without hearing him out, he reached out for her shoulder again. Leia's head was held high, her stubbornness shinning through it all, just like her mother had been when she ordered him to leave the last time they had been together.

But he wouldn't make the same mistake he made with Padmé with Leia. Clearing his throat lightly, he walked closer to her, his hand resting comfortably when Leia shook it off, stepping farther ahead of him.

Finally he spoke, more like sung to be sure.

_"When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned it's back on you  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart  
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore"_

Leia seemed interested in the song her father sung. Although she still wanted distance she actually listened.  
  
_"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone"_

Anakin took Leia's relapse in her stubbornness to lay his hand on her shoulder again, pulling her closer to him as he continued to sing.  
  
_"When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
You're caught in a one way street  
With the monsters in your head  
When hopes and dreams are far away and  
You feel like you can't face they day"_

"Father?" she whispered lightly, turning to look at Anakin who had a slight smile on his face. How he had longed to here Leia call him that, with the affection he knew she had. He loved her with every inch of his being and when Leia turned her back on him it scared him more than anything in the universe could. It scared him to think that one of the children he and Padmé had created in love would spend the rest of her life hating the one who had fathered her.  
  
_"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone  
  
Because there has always been heartache and pain  
And when it's over you'll breathe again  
You'll breath again  
  
When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please  
To tame your wild wild heart  
  
Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone"_

Leia's expression softened.

"Dad?" she finally asked again. Anakin's smile continued as he answered her.

"Yes?"

"You sung that for me?" she asked, stupidly she thought but she needed the question answered.

"Yes,"

Smiling Leia rethought what was going on. The father she thought she knew was gone, Bail was gone. When she thought about it, he had never really been a father to her. He had provided her a home but was never there when she needed advice, never read her bedtime stories, never did anything with her until she grew older and her political skills showed their face.

He had always been more interested in her mother than her.

And here was the man whose blood ran through he veins pleading with her to take him back. Confusion seemed to sweep over her though a single thought crossed through her mind "Bail isn't your father, Anakin is."

With that final thought she flung her arms around Anakin's neck. Pulling her close Anakin whispered softly into her ear.

"Your not alone."

"I know daddy, I know."

After what seemed like an eternity Anakin pulled away. "Look around you Leia."

Leia looked about her. The darkness had faded and around her she stood in what seemed to be a kingdom. A kingdom in which she had seen pictures, pictures of what it had looked like in its peek of its civilization in which it held and pictures of what it had looked like when she was growing up, a wreckage of pummeled beauty.

This kingdom was a kingdom on a small planet called Naboo that was covered with prairies, much like Alderaan, but now lay in a lifeless state of wreckage.

This was Theed.

"Why am I here?" she asked softly.

Anakin smiled down at her.

"Your mother reined here as one of the last queens. Queen Amidala was her name when she reined her. She reined when she was younger than you are now, at age fourteen. She reined until she was twenty-two when she advocated because her two elective terms were completed. She then became senator of Naboo, living on Coruscant. She always told me after the wars that she wanted to come back here again and rule as queen once more. It was one of the greatest times of her life, when I met her as queen. I just wanted to show you what you would have had had I not turned my back on you, Luke, and your mother."

"But Theed lies in wreckage."

"Because of me I'm afraid. I wanted to lose every reminder of your mother, or I should say Vader did because in my dormant state, Anakin still thought of his wife, dreamt of his wife, and wanted to fulfill her dreams."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman. I'm sorry I never got to know her."

"What?"

"I never really got to know her. She was with me until I was four when she died. I can't remember much just images and feelings. I remember that she was beautiful and kind, but sad. Very sad."

"She told me that would be all you would remember."

"You've seen her since…"

"Yes, she's here with me in the after life. Leia I must leave you now but please remember I love you and whenever you need me call for me and I shall be there."

"I will daddy." She spoke softly.

"And your mother shall visit you again in your dreams. She loves you, as do I. Oh and tell your brother thank you."

"I will thank you dad." She said softly. 

Anakin pulled her into another hug and whispered to her softly.

_"If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone"_

*

Leia awoke calmly to light peeling through her window. Smiling she stretched out the stiffness of sleep.

"What a wonderful dream that was." She spoke softly. "Dad was there."

Looking about her room she heard soft sounds from the outside. Sounds of people talking.

Talking? That brought back memories to her head from the dream. What was it that her father had told her to tell Luke. "Thank you," she said softly.

Luke! She had to find look!

Getting out of bed she ran for the closet, pulling on a white jumpsuit and matching boots. Then running for the door she fled down the hallway from her quarters.

"Luke!" she called through the halls of the complex on Coruscant they were staying in.

Luke soon stuck his head out of the kitchen doorway.

"Yes Leia?"

"Dad told me to tell you thank you."

"What?"

"Dad told me to tell you thank you."

And with that she entered into the kitchen passed her bewildered brother. Luke eventually got the whole story out of Leia, her dream and everything.

Just as their father had said, their mother visited them in their dreams. Both would visit frequently, telling them stories of the past. It comforted them to know that their father was right. They had two parents that loved them.

But neither told anyone at the time for they knew no one would understand. Their father was watching over them and it was nice to know their mother was to.

*

Leia lay in her bed, socking wet with sweat. Han sat in a chair by her side, sleeping softly with two little toddlers in his arms.

Leia laid in her bed, a newborn baby in her arms. Anakin was his name, named after his grandfather. Softly Leia began to sing to him the song her father sung to her in that dream she never forgot.

_"Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone"_

And somehow when she sung that song she knew Anakin was there watching over them. She felt a soft hand on her shoulder as little Anakin awoke. Little Anakin looked up behind her to the side of the bed and Leia looked up to see the ghostly figure of Anakin Skywalker standing their a look of pride on his face.

All that she could hear from him was the song.

When the song was finished he disappeared and she looked back at Anakin who was smiling in wonderment at her.

"That was your grandpa Anakin, my father." She said softly. "The one your name after. Here, let me tell you your first story, the story of your grandfather and grandmother, two people who loved each other so much."

Leia told him the story of her father and mother's past, the one both her mother and father told. She told him the story of her dream, she told him the story of her brother saving her father's life.

And Anakin listened. Although he was just a newborn infant he listened.

The season's changed the days grew on. New stars were born; new stories to be told were formed.

And balance was finally brought to the force.

The End


End file.
